I was teaching a conflict resolution workshop about a year ago when someone asked, “Why is it that I am pretty good at resolving conflict at work, but at home I always seem to make a bad situation worse? I can bring down tension at the office, but I usually raise it at home. It just doesn’t make sense…it’s me in both places.”
At the root of the question is something that in psychology is called the fundamental attribution error: We routinely underestimate how much situational (or external) factors influence behaviors and outcomes, and we overestimate personality (or internal) factors.
Because we disproportionately focus on the person while simultaneously downplaying the situation, we often draw faulty conclusions and choose inferior ways of dealing with people.
Situational factors can dramatically shape individual behaviors and outcomes. It is easy to see this once you start looking for it: an executive who routinely yells at colleagues treats important clients with the utmost respect; an employee who can’t get to work on time sits in a swamp, fully alert, by 4:30 a.m. during hunting season; a salesperson who can’t stay focused for three minutes during a company meeting can give a prospective client her undivided attention for hours.
In order to know how to work (and live) with people, we must consider how the situation influences the person. Without understanding the situational forces at play on behaviors and outcomes, we are prone to incorrectly categorize the executive who yells as simply mean, the late-to-work employee as lazy, and the fidgety saleswoman as scatter-brained. Each of these superficial explanations can lead us to select inferior interaction strategies. Meanness alone doesn’t explain the yelling executive—something is keeping these negative behaviors in check with clients. Laziness is a sorry explanation for someone we can find in a swamp during the predawn hours of hunting season. And scatter-brained is definitely not how customers view our company’s best saleswoman.
When we begin to pay attention to situational factors, more options become available to influence behaviors and shape outcomes, and we greatly increase the number of ways we can achieve positive outcomes and bring out the best in other people.
Next week, we will look at ways to convert our understanding of situational factors into usable communication and interaction strategies.