Spring is a great time to do some communication housecleaning. Start by throwing out four stale communication behaviors:
Stop verbalizing unfavorable comparisons. Current coworkers don’t appreciate it when you tell them how much fun you had with your former colleagues. Your current boyfriend hates it when you talk about how nice your last boyfriend was. And it irks your subordinates when you tell them how wonderful things were at your last company. We often communicate unfavorable comparisons without realizing it, so make a mental note to curb this unappreciated behavior.
Ask more open and fewer closed questions. Open questions (“Please tell me about your meeting with the client.” “How was your vacation?”) invite a longer response, while closed questions (“Was the client meeting productive?” “Did you enjoy your vacation?”) can be answered with just a few words. Guard against an unintentional drift into closed questions to open up more of your conversations.
Don’t spotlight errors after the fact. Pointing out errors after they’ve happened is unnecessary, because by the time something goes wrong, the other person is almost always well aware of it. Consequently, phrases like “I can’t believe you did that.” “What were you thinking?” “I told you so.” and “You should have listened to me.” are counterproductive and unappreciated. Rather than using an error as an opportunity to highlight how smart you are, help your conversational partner recover from the mistake instead.
Eliminate unsolicited advice. The line between advice and critique is mighty thin, because people often hear criticisms in even the most well-intentioned advice. Eliminate unsolicited advice from your conversations to prevent a reflexive rejection of what you are saying.
Annoying communication habits collect like dust. Clean them out this spring.
Originally posted on mouthpeaceconsulting.com.