It’s a misconception that people who get things done are frank, direct, and don’t sugarcoat their words. The truth is that effective communicators and influential leaders constantly think before speaking and rely on restraint to keep their conversations productive and civilized. Effective people know when and how to choke back their words to advance an initiative or to stabilize an important conversation.
Ask a few successful people you admire this question: How often do you get to say whatever you want? They’ll almost certainly tell you how frequently they want to say something but decide, for the good of a relationship or to advance a larger objective, to keep their thoughts locked safely inside their heads.
And while it might seem that people holding powerful positions, like organizational or civic leaders, can say whatever they want, most leaders know—or quickly learn—that unchecked words have enormous consequence. For this reason, effective leaders constantly exercise conversational restraint.
Leaders who lean on their formal power to say whatever they want, to whomever they want, usually cause irreparable damage over time to the very relationships that are most likely to help them succeed. Furthermore, their behavior can obstruct the flow of vital, but negative, communication from below, sowing the seeds of structural organizational gridlock and, often, their own demise.
Instead of blurting out what’s on your mind, practice communication restraint and you’ll keep your conversations, and your objectives, on track. Restraint helps people get things done.
Originally posted on mouthpeaceconsulting.com.