Breaks are powerful communication tools that protect conversations from damaging escalation and safeguard the underlying relationship. Breaks can stop negative conversational momentum, they allow people to recover from mistakes and walk back from problematic topics and tangents, and breaks encourage people to cool off when a conversation has become heated.
Four tips will help you use conversational breaks effectively:
1. Take a break when you can’t contain or exit. When you can’t contain an escalating conversation and when terminating the conversation isn’t feasible, taking a break is your next best alternative. Breaks halt negative momentum and allow people the space and time to self-correct.
2. Take a break when a conversation starts recycling. If you get a funny feeling that your conversation is stuck in a counterproductive loop, pause the discussion and see if a restart might get it back on track. Pauses can help shake the rehashing out of your conversations.
3. Apply the brakes when a discussion stops making sense. When you are hearing the words, but they aren’t really registering, it’s a good time to take a break. Temporarily halting a conversation that’s become hard to follow gives participants an opportunity to clear their heads and return to the discussion refreshed.
4. Ask for breaks whenever you need them. People have a hard time saying no to requests for conversational pauses. You can ask indirectly (I need to get a drink/use the restroom/make a call. Can we come back to this conversation in a few minutes?) or directly (I’m sorry our conversation has become heated, but it’s very important to me that we keep talking. Can we take a break for a few minutes and then continue the conversation?) It doesn’t matter how you ask for a break, it only matters that you ask and receive it.
Breaks are simple, but powerful, communication tools that can often get wayward and problematic conversations back on track. Returning to a conversation after a few minutes away often makes the difference between a discussion that’s a lost cause (or worse) and a conversation that’s productive.
Originally posted on mouthpeaceconsulting.com.