Unwanted opinions are as omnipresent—and as nutty—as fruitcake during the holiday season, but they are even less desirable than the humble old cake. The cumulative effect of relatives, close holiday quarters, and unsolicited opinions often leads to arguments, hurt feelings, and tense holiday gatherings.
Three ideas will help prevent unwanted opinions from disrupting your conversations this holiday season:
- Make sure your opinion isn’t really a criticism. If a reasonable person might take offense to your statement, it’s a criticism and not an opinion. “I think your kids would be happier in a private school” isn’t an opinion to your relatives with children in public schools; it’s a criticism. The same goes for “I think dogs need a big yard to run in” to Aunt Jayne who lives with Fido in an apartment and “I think hybrid cars are overpriced” to Cousin Wilhelm who drove up in his Prius. Filter your opinions this holiday season and your words will be less likely to send your relatives off for more eggnog.
- Stop contributing opinions when discussions become heated. Even though it’s an idea well worth considering, you don’t have to take opinion-laden topics like politics, football, family, or finances off the table for holiday discussion. But when a conversation about any topic suddenly escalates, stop adding your opinions and start lowering the intensity level. Don’t let an uneventful discussion about politics or Aunt Gladys transform into a damaging argument because you wanted to keep scoring verbal points against someone.
- Take all opinions with a grain of salt. Most relational damage is caused by an overreaction to an unwanted opinion and not by the opinion itself. Don’t let Uncle Joey’s critical opinions trigger a harmful emotional exchange between the two of you. For more serenity at the holidays, let unwanted opinions die on the vine without a response.
Opinions may seem free, but a quick tally often reveals a high relational cost. For more peace and harmony, think twice before stating unwanted opinions or before overreacting to someone else’s opinions this holiday season.
Question: How do you handle unwanted opinions? Please leave an example to continue the discussion.
Looking for a great holiday gift? Don’t buy dad soap-on-a-rope again this year; get him a copy of Stop Talking, Start Communicating instead.
Originally posted on mouthpeaceconsulting.com.