November brings with it the start of the holiday season and a chance to reconnect with some of the most important people in our lives. But as we know from our own experience—or potentially even from last year—spending holiday time in close quarters with people who know how to push our buttons can easily lead to volatile interactions. Perhaps it’s no surprise that 24% of respondents to a recent Consumer Reports poll admit that a few relatives make them dread the holidays. That’s a lot of unhappy people.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. The holidays are the worst time of year for anxiety and arguments because we’re supposed to be celebrating. Three simple actions will help you avoid harmful fights and keep the peace throughout the holiday season:
- Don’t recycle arguments. It’s a clear signal that your holiday fight is counterproductive if you argue about the same thing every year: you always tangle with Cousin Billy about politics, with Aunt Sarah about your housekeeping habits, and with Uncle Joey about his conspiracy theories. Your dust-ups didn’t do anything last year except ruffle feathers and elevate heart rates, so why not change the subject or duck the argument entirely this holiday season?
- Let things go. Don’t render a reflexive response to someone else’s ill-advised words because that will transform an irritating moment into a damaging one. Ignore all but the most egregious criticisms and the most blatant argument-baiting attempts at the holidays. It takes two to tangle, but only one to sidestep a holiday conflict.
- Be realistic. Many of the people who antagonize us during the holidays really shouldn’t have so much of an impact because they’re scarcely a presence in our lives the other 360+ days of the year. How much does it actually matter that Aunt Sarah criticizes your housekeeping habits, that Cousin Billy jabs you about your politics, or that Uncle Joey irritates you with his conspiracy theories? You probably only see these people a handful of times per year, and they aren’t going to change your daily life one bit. Don’t erroneously magnify the importance of their words and escalate the situation.
There is much to celebrate during the holiday season when you don’t allow irritating words to get under your skin. Good will toward all men even extends to Uncle Joey.
Question: How do you keep the peace during your holiday gatherings? Please leave a comment to continue the discussion.
Originally posted on mouthpeaceconsulting.com.