I appreciate a laugh as much as the next person, so it pains me to say that witty comments are a form of humor with serious downsides. The line between wit and sarcasm is usually so thin that it is virtually indistinguishable. Witty comments often sound great inside our heads, but they frequently have the impact of a loose cannon when we try to convert them into office humor or social jesting. The problem, broadly stated, is many kinds of humor—witty comments, puns, and wisecracks are especially problematic—are risky communication behaviors because they have a high failure rate (that is, people often don’t understand what you are saying, or why you are saying it). Additionally, what you consider hilarious may be mildly—or even seriously—offensive to your conversational partner. Consequently, witty comments all too often lead to jerky and awkward conversations, and they may even cause lasting relational damage. Witty comments also come with an unfortunate quirk: they sound so good in our heads that we usually feel a strong urge—bordering on a compulsion—to say them. However, witty comments seldom sound as funny once they come into contact with the actual conversation and our conversational partner. If you can’t resist the urge to say something witty, ask yourself the following three questions to reduce the likelihood that your comment will cause conversational awkwardness or, potentially, damage. A single yes means that you should strongly consider choking back your comment.
- Am I having an important conversation?
- Is there an element—even a trace—of sarcasm, cynicism, or self-promotion in the comment?
- Would the most uptight person I know find anything objectionable in the comment?
The conversational benefits of wit are seriously overstated, while the trouble that errant attempts at humor can cause are erroneously discounted. Remember this cautionary adage to curtail combustible comments: What sounds great in the head is often best left unsaid. Originally posted on mouthpeaceconsulting.com.