Dale Carnegie said that the sweetest sound in any language is someone saying your name. On the other hand, one of the most awkward feelings is not being able to remember someone’s name. Unfortunately, we find ourselves in this embarrassing predicament quite often.
Names can be tough to recall because we’re usually trying to remember them at a point in a conversation—the beginning—when many things happening. At the start of conversations we juggle many tasks, like establishing rapport, reducing uncertainty, reading facial cues, and finding a conversational rhythm. Because there’s a lot going on at the start of conversations, it’s easy for a name to slip our minds.
Five actions will help you remember names more often and recover when you don’t:
1. Prepare in advance. The best way to increase the odds of recalling a name is to put it the front of your mind before the interaction. Take a moment before a meeting, party, or other gathering to think through the names of people who are likely to be there. You can usually do this mental exercise in less than a minute, and it’s a simple but powerful way to reduce the number of times you go blank on a name you should have known.
2. Ask early if you’re stumped. Quickly request a name you can’t recall, like this: “Please tell me your name again.” The longer a conversation goes, the more awkward it becomes to ask for a name that isn’t on the tip of your tongue.
3. Commit the name to memory. Have you ever had someone tell you her name, only to find that you can’t remember it ten seconds later? As we discussed above, there’s a lot happening in the conversation when you ask for a name, so you’ll have to do something to help the name stick. When you hear someone’s name, use association (his name is Tony, like Tony the Tiger or Tony Soprano) or some other memory method technique like rhyming (bony Tony) or alliteration (tall, tan Tony) to imprint the name in your mind.
4. No wild guesses. Don’t take wild guesses at someone’s name. But if you feel like you’ve got a good shot at remembering, verify your hunch to ensure that you don’t make the hugely embarrassing mistake of use the wrong name throughout the conversation. Test by saying “You’re Charles, right?” If you’re right, you’ll get credit for remembering the name, and if you’re wrong, you’ll get the correct name immediately.
5. Apologize, but keep things moving. Everyone has guessed a name incorrectly or failed to recall someone they should have known, so relax, apologize, and keep the conversation going once you have the name. The other person has been in your position before—probably very recently—and will almost certainly cut you some slack.
Question: What techniques do you use to remember names? Please leave a comment below to continue the discussion.
Originally posted on mouthpeaceconsulting.com.