Big persuasive requests, like convincing your boss for a raise or talking your spouse into moving to a foreign country, benefit from methodical conversational preparation. But for smaller requests—like changing a meeting time or asking for a better hotel room—it only takes a few simple steps to increase the likelihood of success.
1. Ask for what you want. Many wishes remain unspoken because we don’t want to inconvenience someone or we fear the potential rejection. But because smaller requests are easier to fulfill, there’s little or no inconvenience and less chance for rejection. And even if your request is denied, so what? The downside is small, so speak up for what you want.
2. Act like the answer will be yes. Don’t let negativity or wishy-washy language slip into your request. Avoid common qualifiers like: “I know you might not be able to do this, but could we move Thursday’s meeting up to 2:00 in the afternoon?” “I know the hotel is pretty busy, but could I request a room with a better view?” Ask politely, but without reservation, for what you want.
3. Include a reason for your request. It’s easier for people to say yes to a request with a reason attached to it, so don’t ask for something without telling the other person why you want it. “Can we please move Thursday’s meeting up two hours so I can schedule a new client meeting later in the afternoon?” “May I request a room with a view because it’s my first time here and I’d love to be able to see the valley from my room?”
4. Once you ask, stop talking. Resist the urge to keep talking after you’ve made your request. Momentary silence after your inquiry often means the other person is figuring out how to accommodate your request, not that she’s about to say no.
Tactfully ask for what you want, and you may be pleasantly surprised with how often you receive it.
Originally posted on mouthpeaceconsulting.com.