Sorry may be the hardest word to say, but no is not very far behind in difficulty. We frequently agree to deadlines we can’t meet, say yes to engagements we don’t want to attend, and take on projects that we can’t realistically complete, all because we’re often reluctant to say no.
Four ideas can help you say no more effectively:
1. Don’t inflate your importance. Don’t worry that your no might stall a project or cancel a dinner party. It’s seldom earth-shattering when we decline, so don’t let mental exaggerations of your importance to a project or an event prevent you from saying no.
2. Provide a valid external excuse whenever possible. Your no will go down easier if you can provide a reason for it. “I just don’t think I can finish the Gatorville report by Wednesday, because I’m already a week late on the Johnson Farms proposal.” “I’m sorry that I can’t attend your crawfish boil on Friday, but I promised my mother-in-law that I’d help her move.” “I’d love to work on the marketing campaign, but Steve just signed me up as chair of the compliance advisory board so I don’t have the time.”
3. Say yes to something much easier. After you’ve declined the main request, look for something smaller and much less time intensive that you can do to help the other person. “Would you like me to ask Jim if he can help with the Gatorville report?” “Would you like to borrow my Mardi Gras masks and beads to decorate your crawfish boil?” “You might ask Sarah if she’d like to join the marketing campaign; her publicity ideas are usually great.”
4. Don’t stick around. Once you’ve declined, exit the conversation so you don’t end up agreeing to a second request that’s just as time intensive or as undesirable. A no to the Gatorville project can quickly become a yes to the Smith Brothers proposal, and a no to the crawfish boil can easily become a yes to lunch next week.
Decline unwanted requests without feeling guilty. Don’t say yes when you really mean no.
Originally posted on mouthpeaceconsulting.com.