The moment was ripe for a story, and the yarn I chose to tell had plenty of elements to make it great: a tropical island, a freak rainstorm, and a colorful cast of characters. So, why on earth was my conversational partner losing interest? (The answer is below.)
Stories can be powerful communication tools. Stories provide a vehicle for sharing, which often draws people closer together. Stories also help people understand ideas more easily, they insert vibrancy into conversations, and they grab people’s attention.
But getting someone’s attention and keeping it are two different tasks. Most of us learn from a very young age that stories are worth listening to, which is why stories usually capture initial interest when they enter a conversation. But that’s just a momentary advantage. To succeed, a story has to hold attention all the way to its conclusion.
Once your story has an initial conversational toehold, three ideas will keep your yarn from unraveling:
1. Tell the story quickly. The most common storytelling error, by far, is that the story is too long. That was my problem in the example above; my story bogged down and I lost my conversational partner’s attention. Shorter stories are better than longer ones for two reasons: they don’t have to hold attention for so long, and they are less likely to disrupt a conversation’s existing rhythm. The conversation already has an established tempo by the time you drop a story into it, and you seldom have minutes—or even a minute—to tell your story because most conversations just don’t move that slowly. Practice telling your stories in seconds by getting to the main point quickly and by streamlining tangential details. Short stories are much less likely to disrupt the ongoing conversation and much more likely to hold a listener’s attention.
2. Don’t try to resurrect a failed story. Because conversations move quickly, it’s usually counterproductive to try to win back attention for a story that’s already gone stale. It’s unlikely that you’ll be able to resuscitate a floundering story, but quite likely that attempting to do so will make the underlying problem—waning attention—even worse. Truncate your story once attention wanders and proceed to your conclusion as quickly as possible.
3. Brake for questions. Sometimes, telling a story triggers questions about it. When did you live in Hawaii? Had you ever seen a rainstorm like that before? Did you have flood insurance? Questions refresh the story clock, engage the other person, and often provide an opportunity to add details that you would normally omit in your streamlining of the story. Respond to questions, and then return to the story that’s already underway and bring it to a conclusion.
People are instinctively drawn to stories, but it’s up to the storyteller to maintain attention until the narrative is complete. Fit your story to the tempo of the conversation, don’t circle back when a story goes stale, and respond to story-related questions to give your good yarns the best chance of conversational success.
Question: What’s the best story you’ve ever heard during a conversation? Please leave a comment below to continue the discussion.
Originally posted on mouthpeaceconsulting.com.