Willpower to the People (Part One)

Many of us sense that it is harder than ever to prevent our quick-draw tongues from issuing thoughtless rebuttals, or to stop our rapid-fire fingers from typing or texting impulsive messages. These hunches are valid—it is getting harder to stifle our self-defeating communication urges.

Pioneering research has demonstrated that the limitless choices, mind-numbing array of options, and tantalizing temptations of the digital age are burning through our finite store of willpower (Source: Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney). Our willpower, it turns out, becomes depleted as we draw upon it, click after click, to navigate our digital world. And when our willpower is low, the quality of our decision making erodes dramatically, it gets harder to focus on important tasks, and it becomes more of a challenge to stifle impulses and exercise restraint.

The willpower research helps explain why, as a student two decades ago in the pre-Internet era, I could focus enough to write a complete research paper in one sitting, but today it’s hard for me to produce a grocery list without stopping twice to check my email. Fifteen years ago when I was an infantry officer, I willed myself through all sorts of mental and physical challenges, but today it’s often a struggle to write more than two sentences without giving in to the urge to click around on the Internet. And even after devoting years of my life to understanding the vital importance of restraint in human communication, I still have difficulty resisting the temptation to respond immediately to a text message or an email.

In almost every area of my life, I have managed to shake off counterproductive behaviors and become a better, more complete person. I’ve never been more sensible, more grounded, or more mature. So why on earth do I sometimes feel like it was easier to get things done 15–20 years ago, when I was less knowledgeable and less developed (and that’s being charitable) in virtually every way?

The answer: Never before have there been so many tempting diversions, so many tantalizing opportunities, or so many seductive ways to yield to an impulse. Even the most disciplined among us can burn through our finite quantity of willpower by ten in the morning. The digital revolution has ushered in a world that requires an almost heroic level of self-control.

Click by click, we consume our willpower as we engage with and resist the endless choices of the digital world. It’s as though we are living in the middle of a dazzling casino that envelops us with a stupefying array of inviting distractions and tantalizing possibilities. And when our store of willpower has been depleted, our ability to stifle urges is dangerously weakened, leaving us vulnerable to all sorts of self-defeating communication behaviors.

The good news—and the subject of next week’s entry—is that there are many simple ways to protect and conserve your finite store of willpower. Some of the best strategies for replenishing willpower might surprise you—how you sleep and eat play major roles. Next week, we’ll take a closer look at ways to build and maintain willpower in a digital world that demands plenty of it.