As a communication consultant, I spend a lot of time troubleshooting issues in one-on-one conversations with clients. When I first started my career, I thought it was my professional responsibility to exert control over these discussions and say something insightful whenever there was a conversational pause.
It didn’t take me too long to realize how counterproductive this strategy was, because I didn’t have all the answers. I needed the other person’s input to more fully grasp the issue they were wrestling with, and in most cases, I needed their close collaboration to craft a solution that had any hope of sticking. Instead of trying to wring answers from conversations, I learned that there are times when I needed to relax, pay attention, and let the conversation come to me.
People are often surprisingly open and forthright when they feel like we’re listening and we aren’t trying to control the conversation. And it’s not just troubleshooting situations where letting the discussion come to us is a good strategy. When people are trying to make sense of something, like a significant life event or a personal transition that’s full of uncertainties, relaxing and letting them talk is a smart communication tactic.
Don’t let your words get in the way of a good conversation. Let go a little bit, open your ears, and let the conversation come to you.
Originally posted on mouthpeaceconsulting.com.