Holiday events place us in close proximity to people we care for, but don’t see very often. In theory, this time of year gives us a fantastic opportunity to reconnect with some of the most important people in our lives. In practice, the time between Thanksgiving and the start of the year often contains more than its fair share of upsetting family squabbles.
Three counterintuitive ideas will help you keep the peace this holiday season:
1. Practice willful ignorance. Uncle Jesse said what? I can’t believe Aunt Mabel is sitting here, in my house, criticizing my cooking. Here we go—again—with Cousin Ricky’s goofy conspiracy theories. Maintaining holiday serenity requires a healthy dose of willful ignorance and disengagement from pointless and potentially damaging conversations. For more tranquility at the holidays, play dumb and don’t contribute to discussions that have nowhere to go but into the ditch.
2. Welcome some withdrawal. It’s exhausting for some people to be in close quarters with others for extended periods of time. They need a little time and space to recharge and rebalance. Your nephew may retreat for some video gaming after the holiday dinner. Sarah may text a few friends and scroll through Facebook messages on her phone, and Aunt Jane may surf the Internet for Black Friday deals. Don’t sweat their temporary absence. They’ll reengage with the group when they’re ready.
3. Expect less from your conversations. Stop looking for Oprah-like moments of connection at the holidays and try to enjoy whatever you get. Sitting next to Uncle Billy while he watches the Lions game might be all the interaction you get from him. But you’re still sharing a moment of togetherness, even if it proves to be a silent one. Conversely, Aunt Jenny might want to talk your ear off this year, but a bit of your time and your attention might be the best gifts that you could offer her. Don’t try to force meaningful moments at the holidays, and you’ll give your conversations the room they need to surprise you.
Question: What do you do differently at the holidays to keep the peace? Please leave a comment below to continue the discussion.
Originally posted on mouthpeaceconsulting.com.
Need to recharge your thinking this holiday season? Buy a copy of Stop Talking, Start Communicating and prepare for some much needed mental refreshment.