Many of us begin a new year with a burst of optimism and a renewed commitment to make positive change. And yet, that enthusiasm often isn’t enough to make our New Year’s resolutions succeed. Consider making 2013 the year that you focus on improving your communication skills. Here are four tips to help you take advantage of the new year’s positive momentum, while avoiding the pitfalls that often derail our well-intentioned personal change efforts.
1. Find something to quit. It’s often easier to stop something than it is to learn a new habit. And quitting a bad communication habit can be enormously effective since a single habit can repeat frequently and cause numerous problems. Before adding a new communication skill to your toolkit in 2013, see if there’s a bad communication habit you can eliminate first.
2. Resolve to stop (or start) one habit at a time. Our previous discussion about the finite nature of willpower gives a clue why trying to change too many things at once is likely to fail. It’s advisable to concentrate on only one communication behavior at a time, such as not interrupting as much, not asking as many faulty questions, or not raising your voice at Jim from the marketing department. Scattering your focus across multiple changes dilutes the determination you need to make any single behavioral change stick.
3. Break your goal down into milestones. A good goal is meaningful, but achievable, and can usually be split into several interim steps. For example, instead of a blanket commitment not to interrupt anyone in 2013, commit to not interrupting your coworkers during staff meetings in January. And instead of saying that you’ll never raise your voice again, see if you can go ten days without yelling at Jim. Early successes can make reaching your communication goal easier because quick victories will increase your confidence to pursue each successive milestone until you have actually changed the desired behavior.
4. Reinforce and support your change initiative. Two books are worth reading if you are serious about making positive change in the new year. The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg can help you break a bad habit or form a new one. And Willpower by Roy Baumeister and John Tierney will show you ways to more effectively channel your determination in support of your change effort.
If you’ve been thinking about improving your communication, the new year is a great time to do it. Use the four ideas above to increase your chances of success.
Originally posted on mouthpeaceconsulting.com.